And I'm not referring to the Christmas song...It's been snowing since about three, and it doesn't look like it's going to stop. So I am going to be in my house until Sunday. And I HATE snow.

So I haven't posted here in forever and a day. Maybe I'll post again in a year.

Nothing. Going to school and working. I so exhausted, it's not even funny at this point. I'm so ready to graduate that I am counting down the days at this point, and it's still a semester away.

I want to leave Oklahoma and go somewhere fun. It's not fun here. I want to go overseas while we have the chance. Germany or Japan, someplace I've never been nor will I ever have the chance to go again.

Sam's in Iraq. I'm sure most of you know that. He's miserable. I think I would be more worried though if he was having a good time. I think it would freak me out if he came home and said, "hey, let's go to Iraq on vacation, it's great!!!" But you never know.

I always wish I had more to talk about in this thing. That's probably why I post about twice a year. I'm too tired to have emotions at this point. And I mean really, who wants to hear it? I don't even want to hear myself go on. Well I miss Sam...blah blah blah... Of course I do. I think we can make that assumption without me having to write it.

Although on that thought, who really cares what I even write here. Not many people I'm sure. I don't see why people would. I guess I just think that most people have much more interesting lives than I do. Which at this point, has to be true. Really the only thing interesting in my life is Sam, and it's Sam's life that's interesting. Ah well, I don't know what I would do if my life was exciting. I'm too tired for excitement.

Sam got his nipples pierce. I think it's great. I think I need to get mine done now. I had a dream the other night that I did. And for some reason I had 2 barbells in each, and I kept looking down my shirt to see if it was still like that. I was afraid to touch them because I thought it would hurt.

Date:	2003-05-09 23:21
Subject:	There's no place like home....
Security:	Public
Mood:	scared

Yeah, welcome to my life, The Wizard of Oz.

I don't know if any of you watch the weather channel, but just in case I'm still alive. I think a tornado went by about block from my house tonight. I have never in my life been this scared. EVER.

It would be ironic if Sam went to war, and I died.

Date:	2003-05-05 21:01
Subject:	A New Picture for You Boys!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sore

I thought you guys might get a kick out of this picture.

I went dancing this past weekend for the first time since I've had gay friends that I hung out with. And went to a strip club. It was a good time had by all. Amy's ex got the pleasure of other people thinking that he was going home with two girls. We said that was alright, he really was going home with two girls. Unfortunately, for him, that was all he was getting from two girls.

And that's about all that's gone on in my life. Imagine that.

I just don't have anything to say lately.

Khara said that I never post in here, so I figured I would real quick. The last time I did, I got an error message after I had written this huge post and got pissed off so I got kinda bitter.

I think everyone knows, but Sam's gone. I heard from him on Sunday and he is still alive and said things are going ok. I started school this past week and am taking and art class that I really like. I also joined a gym, which I hate. But I still go, since I have to pay for it.

As soon as I know what Sam's e-mail and all that good stuff is, I will let everyone know.

So just in case everyone hasn't heard, yeah...my sister is pregnant. Which means that Sam and I are going to be an aunt and uncle, again.

So Sam is in class all this week, in the field playing glorified lazer tag. It's funny not to have him home again. I mean it's only for not even a week, but i still miss him. So does the cat. He had to stay there Thursday night so at least i expected the cat to be upset. She never even pays me any attention when he is home, and now she wants to cuddle all the time.

I worked 9.5 hours today. After I went to school. I skipped my night class because we were so busy today. (And because i forgot my book.) I didn't even take a lunch. it's been a long day, and I am ready for bed.

Date:	2002-09-27 18:43
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted

I think we are going to have Ted's for dinner tonight. I am very excited. I don't know why, we eat there (or order take out...never never eat there) at least once a week. Any of you people who ever come visit, we will have to get Ted's.

Sam had to stay "in the field" last night. The poor cat missed him. It was very funny. I don't know what she is going to do with herself when he leaves again.

I am still going to school every single day and working every day. It really sucks to go into work on Saturday and not even get overtime. I think I might get some tomorrow though, it's the end of the month and things are crazy. The most loans I have ever seen them fund in one day is about 120. Monday we will fund 270. I think it's a record day. I hope we at least get ice cream or something for it! They use to do that kind of stuff all the time when we worked at the old building. Give us ice cream and cater lunch and stuff. But they haven't done that but once since we moved. We deserve it now though, 247 loans in one day is a lot. Especially for me, because I will have to in-process every single closing packet. It will be a long long day.

So I was looking at the list of who all my friends are on livejournal and noticed that jason is still on there. It was really shocking actually. I miss him and I never even talked to him much anymore.

So I am a student again, and I love it. I really would like to be a professional student. I love going to school, and I love class. What I don't love is going to work full time while going to school full time. That kinda sucks. Oh well, only 13 more weeks. And hopefully only a year more of school. Then we can go to Japan. Or Iceland. Or some other fucking country instead of Oklahoma.

Al, you really do need to come visit for Thanksgiving.

Well I am getting use to Sam being home finally. It's nice. Although I did gain three pounds last week, which puts me back under the 20 lb mark, which is very very frustrating.

Three pounds in one week...god, what didn't I eat...or drink.

My friend Chris has a pit bull. They say she's not full bred but I think that she is. Looks just like Jens' dogs.

My sister FINALLY got a job. Only six months later... She's working at some pizza place in Mauldin delivering pizza. She seems to like it, which is all that matters.

I am starting school in less than two weeks, which is so strange. I am going to try so hard to take four classes. I am going to hate myself for it, but it has to be done, specially with at least fourteen left to go. It's going to suck working full time, but this way maybe some day I can get a promotion from Mail-Girl.

So I am really drunk...like happy drunk though. And I really just kinda feel bad cause I just play journal voyer, and haven't posted in like at least a month and a half.

Sam's cooking dinner. He makes great pizza.
-k

So there is this girl that I work with. She might, mind you I say might, be cute and funny if she was twelve, and I was her babysitter. But probably not. She is nineteen and married, unbelievably, and is actually irritating on purpose. Which drives me nuts, because I don't have any patience for children, let alone adults who want to act like children. I actually had to get on her today about yelling. We work in a very cramped place, and there have to be 75 people who work in our section of the building, no one wants to here this immature bitch yell. Namely me, I sit next to her.

I swear, I am ready to put her through one of the plate glass windows in the front of the building. I just cannot handle her.

So Sam's going to be home soon. I won't know exactly when till he is in the state though. It's weird to think that one day is going to call and say "hey, pick me up at the air port tomorrow." I really just can't wait.

Do you ever have your cigarette just disappear. I definately wasn't done with it, and must have put it out. Or I guess I wasn't ready to be done with it. Smoke filter is nasty though.

NEVER NEVER NEVER shop at Abercrombie and Fitch. I went in there Thursday to buy some pants, since I knew they would fit, what with this whole diet thing and all. Well I take my damn sunglasses off my head and since the fitting room was a mess I never noticed them when I left.

Yeah they were my $130 Oakleys that i was so excited about when I got them. Two months ago. I will never never never see them again. I have half a mind to stake that place out at night and see who walks out with them on.

I am drinking my first can of coke in like god knows how long. I am going to up all night probably since I haven't had any caffiene in that long either.

Sam's supposed to be home on the 30th. Or sometime around then. As of this past monday that is. I haven't talked to him since then, so it has probably changed thirty times since then. Hopefully he will call tonight. It's getting so close.

Believe it or not, I am kinda nervous for him to come home. It will be strange. I keep thinking about what I will wear. And I have lost weight, which is strange. I mean, not lots, but enough so that I think that is is noticible. It's amazing what somewhere between ten and twenty pounds will do to your face. (Unfortuanately my chest is still huge, and seems even more so now. I am afraid I am going to turn into one of those people who is just tits.) But anyways, it will just be strange to have him home, it's really beginning to feel like he is never coming home. Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited to have him come home, it's just weird.

I am still trying not to get excited though, seeing as how they could have changed it. I know he will be home soon enough, it's just so hard not to know when.

I had the best weekend. The only thing that would have made it better was if Sam had been there. I think I was fucked up from the time I got out of work on Friday until i got home. I got some sun, and fell of a jetski twice. So I am sore and tired. But all in all it was the best weekend in a long long time.

We stayed at a georgous house on the Lake of the Ozarks. Which is a really nice area. Kinda backwoods, but very nice. The Schoonover's have a house up there, which is really nice, although i think it should be on the ocean.

It was a great time.

Date:	2002-05-29 22:19
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	VAST

- Pick up a book and write a sentence at random from it:
"The elements tell the system what files are on the disk and where they can be found."
-A+ Certification Concepts & Practice
(I have so many interesting books in my house, why did I pick that one?)

- Do the same with a lyric from a song:
"Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide."
-Sarah McLachlan

- What posters do you have in your room?:
None, I have a Japanese scroll painting on rice paper though. We use to have a great big Battle Angel thing but then we got new furiture and somehow it just didn't mesh.

- Can you sing? I use to be able to, but then i started to smoke and didn't practice anymore.

- What's your favorite color of post-it note?: I have some bright yellow one that I really like at work.

- How many cd's do you own?:I don't even think I would want to try to count. I know I had over 100 when I got married (plus the millions more I have bought since then) and Sam had bunches. And then all the software and games...we have eight huge shelves full of CDs, plus random ones all over the place. So I would say more than just about everyone I know, except maybe Brad.

- Ever bought a cd for just one song?: Sure have. It's always luck when the rest of the CD doesn't suck.

- Have you ever lied to get off the phone?: Uh, yeah.

- Have you ever written a survey?: just the one about me that i did on some random site - Same as Jess.

- How about a song? musically? or lyrically?: I don't think so.

- Or maybe a poem?: Maybe when I was twleve. Or in English class.

- Are you addicted to Napster?: Use to be, back in the day. Now I don't even know how to use our CD burner. (I can use everyone else's but the one in the computer at my house.)

- Would you ever shave someone else's head?: I use to do my brothers, I have done my sister's friend Nick's. I have helped Sam do his.

- Name your favorite type of music: I don't know, it really depends on what mood I am in.

- Are you a vegetarian? Like hell. Give me a big juicy steak, and I am the happiest person on earth.

- Describe your bedroom: Kinda bare on the walls and such, but we have georgous furniture.

- Current mood: Sleepy and estatic because i finally figured out how to play a CD in my house.

- Current music: Well is was Enya, but i think the CD might have just changed. Yup, it's VAST now.

- Current taste: A cigarette after a really tense situation, such as dealling with the twelve year old i work with.

- Current hair: Well believe it or not, it's all my natural color and it's got a great hair cut from my NEW gay hair dresser. It's a little bit longer than my hair line in the back and goes just past my cheek bones in the front. And it's ALWAYS messy.

- Current dress: Red with blue and white star pj pants and Sam's 338th dark knights sweatshirt. (Which I don't know if he realizes or not, but along with the car, is now mine.)

- Current annoyance: The twelve year old that I work with. (Ok, so she's nineteen but i swear you would NEVER guess it.)

- Current smell: the cigarette I just smoked and nothing.

- Current longing: For Sam to come home.

- Current game: Shenmu and Final Fantasy Tactics (which i probably won't play much till Sam comes home, becuase I need help with it.) and SUPER BUST-A-MOVE (which really does suck, but is kinda addicting.)

- Current thing I ought to be doing: laying in bed watching TV.

- Current windows open: AOL, solitaire Windows Explorer, and LJ

- Current desktop picture: Barbed wire and a look out tower in what I would guess to be "the desert" with a gorgeous sunset or sunrise.

- Current favorite group: Like as in music? Or what clique do I belong to? No really, I have been listening to Tegan and Sara for like two weeks now, non-stop. But I just rediscovered VAST, and someone made me think of Save Ferris, which i listened to constantly last summer.

- Current book: "She's Come Undone" by a man, who I can't remember what his name is.

- Current cds in stereo: Three Enya, Vast and Save Ferris. And then I think Tegan and Sara in the car.

- Current colour of toenails: There is a little bit of red glitter polish left on them.

- Current refreshment: Water. I have quit drinking anything else. Actually i had my first soda today in about a month. And i really don't miss it. And I made myself a vodka tonic the other night. But really just water.

- Current worry: That Sam will make it home alright, terrorism in general.

- Current crush: dude, I am married.

- Current favorite celeb: I don't think I have one.

- Current hate: Again, I think i have to say the twelve year old.

So I FINALLY figured out how to play a CD in my house. I use to know how, and then some buttons that weren't supposed to be pused got pushed, and i figured it out tonight. I am SO happy. It's not even like I listen to music in the house all that much. Hell I even have digital cable so if I HAVE to have it, then I can just turn to the stations. But you would be amazaed at how much you miss it when you listen to it. And I figured it out myself. I swear I got goose bumps when I finally got it to work.

So I haven't talked to Sam since Saturday. I think that this is probably the longest I have gone without talking to him. I have gotten e-mail, so it's not liek there has been no contact at all, but it's been strange.

I think my cat is sick. She's been weird all night. I probably should have called a vet. But I think I will wait to see if she is still weird tomorrow.

I went to see About a Boy this afternoon. A very funny movie. Hugh Grant kinda reminded me of a strange combination of mine and Al's personalities. Only he was more shallow than we are. It was worth the matinee price, I don't know if I would have been happy to have spend eight dollars on it though.